His death
by Kalinenaka
Summary: What does Remus think when he sees Sirius die... Find out here.
1. Default Chapter

His Death  
  
I stood up from my fall. Looking around. I saw that Harry entered the room. And Dumbledore to. Only one pair was still battling, apparently unaware of the new arrival. I saw Sirius duck Bellatrix's jet of red light: he was laughing at her. 'Come on, you can do better than that!' He yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room. Reckless. Sirius, you've been locked up for to long. I took a step forwards to help him.  
  
The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest. Sirius, no not Sirius. It felt like a hand ripped out my heart The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock.  
  
No please Sirius, don't leave me to. James and Lily did. Not you to..  
  
I could do nothing but to keep standing there, to shocked to react. To scared. I could heard Bellatrix Lestrange's triumphant scream, but knew it meant nothing - Sirius had only just fallen through the archway, NO.. my heart turned back in my body, a stone cold heart..  
  
'SIRIUS!' Harry yelled. 'SIRIUS!' I heard someone shouting far far away.  
  
He had reached the floor, his breath coming in searing gasps. Sirius must be just behind the curtain, he, Harry, would pull him back out... I turned around. It was Harry.  
  
But as he reached the ground and sprinted towards the dais, I grabbed Harry around the chest, holding him back. Harry, you're the last one to hold on to. I will not let you die to.  
  
'There's nothing you can do, Harry - ' I talked this more to myself then to Harry.  
  
'Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!'  
  
No Harry, he is gone. He is really gone now.. '- it's too late, Harry.'  
  
I tried to talk to Harry. He was the only one who I had left. I can't let them have you  
to. 'We can still reach him - ' Harry struggled hard and viciously, but I would not let go... Please Harry... Don't...  
  
'There's nothing you can do, Harry ... nothing .. he's gone.'  
I tried, I really tried. But all my memories with Sirius came flashing in my mind. Tears  
burned in my eyes. 'He hasn't gone!' Harry yelled.  
I wouldn't let you die to Harry. I can't life alone. I need you to stay. 'SIRIUS!' Harry bellowed. 'SIRIUS!'  
I wish I died in his place, then Harry would be better off. And I would be to. He can't come back, Harry,´ said Lupin, my voice breaking as I struggled to contain Harry.  
Why, why did it happened.. But I must stay here for Harry.. ´he can't come back, because he's d- ´  
Unaware off it I hugged Harry, he was all I had left. I made a promise to myself. HE -IS -NOT –DEAD! Roared Harry. ´Sirius.´  
And I hold on to him. I will never let him alone any more. I needed to hold on to Harry, not just for him. But for me as well. But maybe there is a way to get him back. Maybe I can get him back. Maybe when Harry is still alive. Maybe.. 


	2. Mourning over the dog

_**His Death**_

**Part two: Mourning over the dog**

It happened a week ago. Just seven days. Or 168 hours ago. 10080 minutes if you like.

But for me it seemed so much longer.

I didn't do anything this week. Mostly laying and crying in my bed in Grimmoudplace. The place were Sirius spent every day since the Order was reformed.

The only times I came outside my chamber was to get something to drink.

Always the heavy stuff. My days were spent in three things. Sleeping, drinking and mooring.

The third day after well you know, Molly came upstairs. I could here the footsteps hit the wooden old stairs of this house.

'Remus?' She said in a soft voice as she opened the door and walked inside.

I didn't looked to her, I just starred to my hands which lay in my lap.

Then she sat next to me at the bed. She pulled my hands in her own.

'Remus, I know it's hard for you. It is hard for us all. But one thing I know about Sirius, and that is that he always wanted that his friends were happy. He didn't want you to be like this.'

I decided not to answer. Of course I knew he didn't, he didn't want a lot if things to happen. But it did happen...

'Do you want to talk about it?' She asked me, again I didn't answer.

'If you want to talk about it you can come to me Remus.' She continued in her soft comforting voice.

Then she let go of my hands again. Waiting for me to begin my story. Which never came.

'I will make some dinner for you. Will you come down tonight. We all miss you around Remus.' Again I didn't answer.

'I will just wait for you.' Then she stood up, and walked back to the door.

She turned the handle down..

'Molly?' I said. Both she and I could hear I cried a lot.

'Yes dear?' She said in a hoping voice as the turned around once more.

'Can you bring me another bottle?' I heard her sniff behind me. She didn't approve me drinking.

'Sure I can.' Then she left..

I can't remember her bringing the bottle, but the next time I awoke there stood a new bottle on my pedestal cupboard.

But this day something changed my destroying routine.

And the question was what am I going to do about it.

The third day off the summer vacation was almost over. Alastor Moody al ready made plans to visit Harry Potter. Since he didn't sent a note in three days.

He almost dragged me out of my sleep chamber, into the kitchen where already many people stood. Molly even gave me something to eat just then, saying I would need my strength. Just when I was about to complain Dumbledore came into the room.

After about an hour of planning, in the tiniest details, we all saw an owl flying in.

A very white owl.

Hedwig.

She finally came, carrying his letter.

The owl flew a few times over out heads, until Professor Dumbledore raised his arm were Hedwig took place.

Dumbledore removed it, and unfolded the parchment.

He wrote the letter, twice.

Then he lowered the letter, and looked back at us.

'He says he is ok.' Dumbledore said after a few moments of intense silences.

'What does he say else? How do you mean ok?' Molly Weasley asked him.

'He only says he's ok. Nothing less and nothing more.' I could hear a disappointment in the professors voice.

'Well, then we don't need to go after all.' I said. Mayby a bit to happy, lots to happy...

Every bodies head turned to me.

'Why shouldn't we go?' Alasor Moody's grumbled voice rose above the silence.

'Because he's ok.' I shot back to him.

'Well that's because he didn't say more then two words.' Molly said, immediately other people started to whisper.

'Silence please.' Dumbledore spook after a few minutes. I hadn't said anything.

'Why have you suggested that we shouldn't go Lupin?' He asked me.

And before I could kick myself I answered: 'We need to show trust in him. Like Sirius did when he was still here...'

'I think that's it will be best of you went to get him Remus. Today.'

Now I really could kick Dumbledore in the ass.

'No.'

'Go, and get Harry out of there.'

'And then? How am I supposed to take care of him?'

'Bring him to your home. There the both of you will stay the rest of the holidays.' I could swear that I saw Dumbledore's eyes twinkle.

'And what if I won't.'

'Remus.' Molly said in shock.

'Molly, please.' Arthur said then again, in shock of his wife.

'Remus, I believe it's better that you go now.'

I knew I was defieded. I grapped my coat, and went out.


	3. Crying over the hound

_**His Death**_

**Part III: Crying over the Hound **

At Privet Drive 4 silence ruled the place. Petunia and Vernon Dustley were out eating with there son Dudley. The house was empty, except for one other boy. One with green eyes, and messy dark black hair.

This was the third day he was at this place. And he already received letters from his friends Ron Weasly and Hermione Granger. Even letters from his old friend and professor Rubeus Hagrid.

But not this nor the sweets his friends sent his way could lighten his mood up.

Harry Potter was sitting outside in the garden. Hiding a bit under the bushes, with his back against the cold stone from his house.

Next to him his owl Hedwig was to sitting there. In the shadows of the bush.

Harry told her every single detail of his story. How is started, how he saw Sirius fell, which followed my his murders feelings, and the deep empty hole that took place in his heart.

For some odd reason Harry's pain of loosing his godfather melted a bit when he talked to Hedwig. For she didn't said she was sorry to, or that it was or wasn't Harry's fault. She just listened.

But now, on the third day of the summer vacation, Harry had once again a problem.

He had to sent a letter to the order. If he didn't then the would come to check if he was al right. That was the last thing he wanted, people of the order checking him.

So, with a parchment, a feather and a bottle of ink Harry thought of what to write.

Sometimes he petted Hedwig, and said once more that he missed his godfather, or that it was he who killed him.

An half hour later, Harry still hadn't written anything on the parchment.

He didn't want to say he felt alone, that way the order members would come to.

No, he didn't needed them. He could handle it alone.

After a few other options considered he decided just to write "I'm ok" on the parchment.

He rolled it up, sealed it, and bound it on one of Hedwig's legs.

And if she knew what he written she shot him an angry glare before she took of to deliver the massage of the liar.

And there under the bush Harry Potter sat really alone now, remembering Sirius.

It gotten dark when Harry heard that his ant, uncle and cousin came home.

He swept his tears of his cheeks with the sleeve of the sweater which had belonged to cousin.

Went inside the house, directly to his room.

Since he arrived at Privet Drive Harry hadn't eaten with his so called family. He always ate before them, or he didn't ate at all. He always made sure that he avoided the Dursley's as much as possible. He know that if the Dursley's knew about Sirius being dead hell would break loss for sure.

When the first sunlight's shone through the small window of the next day Harry was once again the first one awake. He pulled the same clothes on he worn the last four days, not bothering to change it.

Hedwig hadn't returned yet, so he decided to walk.

He walked around the block, knowing where his feet took him.

The first time he saw Sirius was when he run away from that horrible home Dumbledore made him stay every year. So, today he walked back to that place, secretly hoping that Sirius would show up just the way he did only two years ago.

He sat there, on the swing, for hours. In the late night. All alone with no one else then his own mind.

Softly rocking back and forwards, thinking again about Sirius. It hunted him. He didn't sleep well these days. Not because of Voldemort, but because every time he slept the picture of Sirius falling through the curtains came back in his mind. That was the last thing he wanted, to relive his death.

All alone.

That was until his cousin Dudley needed to show up.

'Hey you.' Dudley roared at Harry. He, however tried to ignore Dudley.

'Freak!' Dudley roared again, with no result.

'He I'm talking to you!' Dudley became very pissed at his cousin, and walked over to the swing.

'Are you deaf? I called you tree times already.' Dudley roared in Harry's ear.

'Yeah, I heard, and I came to the conclusion that you aren't a good singer.' Harry shot back, rubbing his ear, and not looking at Dudley.

'What, don't make me angry! I still can hit you.' Dudley said, standing in front of Harry with his fist up.

'And not a very good actor, are you.' Harry said back.

'Well, I'm still better then your freaky head.'

Harry stood up from the swing.

'What's that supposed to mean?' Harry asked angry at his cousin.

'Don't think that I don't know.' Dudley said with a huge grin.

'Know what?'

'I can hear you. Late at night, when you think everyone is sleeping. Cry-baby.'

'Shut up!' Harry warned Dudley, who sneered.

'Oh, I got it right, didn't I.' Dudley continued teasing Harry.

'Shut up I said!'

'Sirius... I hate them, all of them..' Dudley began to say in a crying voice.

'SHUT UP!!' Harry roared back as he pulled his wand out of his pocket.

Dudley felt on the grass, scared of Harry.

A car came ridding over to them. Harry didn't bother to place his want back. Dudley seemed far to scared to react.

The car stopped, and the lights turned out.

One door opened, and a man stepped out.

He walked over to them.

Harry looked over to the man, he somehow looked familiar to him.

It was that, until he heard his voice.

'Harry?' Remus Lupin asked Harry in surprise.

'What are you doing here?' Remus added, looking to his wand.

'Nothing.' Harry said back to his ex professor.

'Nothing?' Remus repeated when he say Dudley laying scared on the ground, before he turned his attention back to Harry.

'What brings you here? I send a letter.' Harry asked the older man.

'You're a freak to!!' Dudley screamed, trying to scramble away. Remus looked murders at this comment, but he still looked at Harry.

'A wizard perhaps.' Remus said, although his voice still was the same.

'No!! YOU LIED!! THE FREAKS DID CAME!!' Dudley roared back to Harry.

'I already said to you that I wasn't a freak, have I' Remus shot back to Dudley as he turned around and put his hand in his pocket.

'Don't you speak to me. I'm NOT afraid of you!!' Dudley screamed at Remus.

'Oh, I think you should be.' With that Remus grapped his wand out, and hit Dudley full with a Jelly-Legs Jinx. He wasn't to pleased to be called freak Harry presumed. He however did found it quit funny.


End file.
